So while there are moments when I feel that old unsettling discomfort at the knowing that 40 is only a little over 6 months away, most of the time I am really running off my feet busy and caught up in drama that usually turns out to be a figment.
I do often think of the 19 more new things I am longing to do, or the 40 things I've started that I want to finish and the 40 books I want to read this year but reality is reality. The kids need tending to, as do my friends, my family, the pets, the house, the yard and of course my job. So while I'd love to do the 19 new things, love to finish the 40 things and most days would love nothing more than to curl up and be carried away with a book... really, l love tending to all the things that need tending.
i am not abandoning these goals of 40s, I am just reminding myself to enjoy the path on my journey to get there. sometimes in my efforts to really make the most of things, i can't over look how great things already are. and sometimes in my real desires and goals to change and accomplish things i forget to be gentle with myself and not "make war" on myself as Pema says.
oh and by the way i have read about 10 novels... mostly escapist romances : ) that i am not sure i can own to having read. (haha!) i am still knitting those scarves and i sang and played at a coffee house (nerve wracking). the rest of it though is only in the "thought about it stages".... c'est la vie. Also i went to a writers workshop two weeks ago and i am writing more now... mostly poetry and free writing, but i am loving it!
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