Soft spoken and smiling Auntie Ilene was a constant in the landscape of my life for as long as I can remember.
As my mum's sister and living about a 5 minute walk from my home, there was the opportunity to share in special family occasions, birthdays, Christmases, community events and just bumping into each other at Keewatin Beach (because she would go for a swim there several times a day). But even before she moved to town she came to my first birthday.
When I was a little girl she would look after me when my mum was working. I have many memories and impressions and life lessons from that time. Auntie had a spotless home. I'm not exaggerating. It was totally organized and not a dust bunny could be found on the polished floor under the bed. I know because I peeked as a child; amazed at every inch of the shiny floors.
Off her kitchen there was a small room leading to the backyard. There Auntie had a tub wringer washing machine that would be busily churning away. She taught me of the dangers of the rollers as I watched her slide the clothing through. There was an umbrella clothesline in her backyard where everything was hung to dry. She had an ironing board so convenient in her kitchen and it seemed she pressed everything, neat and smooth. I don't remember ever seeing dirty dishes stacked in her kitchen - they must have been washed after every use.
She tended gently to her pets. Speaking sweetly to them and taking care of their every need. I am told she did this for not only her own, but any strays that she saw. This is something my Grandma did too. In fact Auntie spoke with a similar accent to my Grandma. They both would speak to and for animals and I do the same - though I can't match their accent or tone.
What I remember most about this time being babysat at her home was how she greeted my cousin Daniel when he came home from school. Always an attentive and devoted mother she would greet him at the door, her whole focus and concentration listening to his day as she got his after school snack ready. "What's an afterschool snack?" I thought. I remember he got pink milk and crumbs. Later Mum tells me I'd ask her why she didnt ever make me crumbs? Mum had to call her sister to find out what on earth crumbs were. Daniel explained at her celebration of life Saturday that he was a fussy eater as a kid and he really liked the topping on rhubarb or apple crumble so his mom would make just that - the oatmeal, melted butter, brown sugar and a bit of cinnamon. Put that all in a bowl and voila - crumbs. (Keep in mind this was pre-microwave so she had dirtied a pot to melt the butter to make the crumbs for the afterschool snack) Being a brown sugar addict this became a recurring snack and comfort food for me. Had I been more sure I was going to be able to make it to her funeral Saturday I would have made a big batch of crumbs and served everyone a small sample cup.
I made some crumbs as I wrote this. They are delicious!
We spent many family occasions together.
We always spent some time over Christmas together as families. When I was young we would all have Christmas Eve dinner at my family's home and Christmas Day dinner at hers. Auntie had bubble lights on her Christmas tree. When Grandma and Grandpa Jensson would come to town we would have to take turns for whose house they would stay at on Christmas eve. (I was always envious when they stayed at Auntie's)
After Christmas when Auntie would come to my house Mum would have us "set up" our presents on our beds like a display. Then Auntie would come and patiently listen as we showed what we got for Christmas. She would ask who we got the presents from and say how lucky we were to get so many nice things. (Gently reminding us the importance of gratitude).
Later when we were older we would have Boxing Day meals with Auntie and her family. It would be a progressive dinner - meaning we would start at my cousin Paulette's for appetizers, then over to my sister Cindy's for soup or salad. Mum's house would be the next stop for the main course. Auntie's would be the last stop for desserts - cookie trays full of beautiful cookies that looked store bought they were so perfect. At each stop we would visit and look at the gifts each person got. And you could eat a lot when it was spread out over 4 or 5 hours! :)
As I got older I saw her less often - then I was off to University and I saw her even less often. How I regret not making a point to go have tea with her once and awhile.
Still I would see her at the beach, at the Mather-Walls teas and family gatherings. I'm sure she was there for my graduation. She was there for my farewell BBQ before I left on my mission. She was at my wedding shower, danced with my husband at our wedding reception and came to visit with all the extended family the next day.
She came to meet each of my babies and came to their blessing days - she was actually the first extended family to hold Cole because it was March break and everyone else was away, but she and Donnie came over to meet him and check in.
We went blueberry picking together once, with Auntie, Paulette and Donnie. She picked so fast! I wonder often how she and my parents could pick so much faster than me? On Halloween a stop at Auntie's was a must, because she would love to see the kids in their costumes.
As she got older and started to get forgetful she told me once that sometimes she found she couldnt remember if she had already cleaned something in her house. But then she shrugged and said with a twinkle in her eye, "What does it matter? I like cleaning and if I've done it twice it's okay because then my house is only cleaner." She was taking it in stride.
After she moved into the nursing home Donnie and Daniel would bring her to church so she could get a break from that place. It was a tough time for her and her family. She was already forgetting people she knew. They say with dementia that you loose them twice, which is true, I think. But one Sunday I came up to her in the hallway at church and looked her right in the eye and said, "Hello Auntie." Her eyes widened and brightened and she said, "Lisa, I know it is you! Because you are the only one who calls me Auntie." We smiled and hugged so happy in that moment. (She whispered I was her favorite, but I think she had lots of favorites 😊)
I got busy and it was emotionally hard to go see her in the nursing home. I didn't go as often as I should have and then COVID came along and I couldn't see her at all. I would chastise myself for not seeing her more before, when I could have.
She was a tiny woman, but a great woman. She was sweet and soft spoken, sure, but anyone who knew her and even a small part of her story would marvel at her grit and ability to find humor and smile.
I have many wonderful relatives. On both sides of my family we come from good, kind and hardworking people who were loving parents and grandparents. I am always grateful for them and could write many tributes like this to them. (And maybe I will...) Auntie was one of these and a link to all of them - especially to my grandparents. I will greatly miss her, but I am so grateful for her!
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