First, I should say what has brought me here. While I always liked the idea of having a forum to share ideas and experiences, I am finally doing it because of my upcoming 39th birthday.
A new unease set in just after ringing in 2010 and I began to not like the idea of turning 39. Not because 39 is awful, but because it's the last of the 30's. Now let me be clear, it's not that I mind aging - I actually think there are stories to be told in wrinkles and I find grey hair very sexy. I see beauty in people of all ages. And I've never been overly attached to my appearance as a definer of who I am, so losing my youthful beauty really doesn't shake my sense of self. And it's not that I'm afraid to die. I'm actually okay with life's impermanence. One of my favourite quotes is "none of us are getting out of here alive". But with the recent death of a cousin of mine - I am reminded that time could be very short here.
It took me some reflection to realize what was underlying my chagrin of the number soon to be attached to me. It is the feeling that I hadn't done enough, hadn't lived enough, hadn't gotten everything out of this ride! And I realized that if I wanted to be "okay" with 39, so that I could be "okay" with 40 I needed to not just accept the inevitable, but I need to embrace it and celebrate it.
How to do that? There were many draft plans I concocted. But what I decided a couple months ago was that I would attempt to do 39 things I have never done before. Next year's celebration may be a 40 day countdown, or finishing 40 things I have started, who knows!
I'm getting a slow start, with a self imposed deadline fast approaching. Starting this blog is only #5. So, over the weekend - I am going to catch up the blog entries. One per new thing.
Wish me luck!!